| fake a smile (: |
[Sep. 19th, 2011|04:26 pm] |
(whose text are you waiting for?)
(nope! Just checking the battery (: )
reading the corner of your eyes
gradually it's beginning to dawn on me
that there's very little I can do
so you had these wounds all the while
but you simply refused to talk to me
that movie you chose
like a foreshadow of sorts
the untruthful protagonist
cried at the end
(why're you crying again?)
insisted on walking away
(nothing! (': )
[chorus]
that parting embrace
I still burn so desperately
but the hurricane within you
that you keep hidden from me
you writhe in silence
unsure of what you really want
love is becoming like
a playground, and at times
a prison
that parting embrace
the insanely confused palpitations
how I wish it was just a fight
and we can make up, just like that
I know you still keep his photos
the answer was right
in front of me all along
but I just tore it up
refused to see
praying for something
coddling you gently
love can break a person
a bitter smile impersonating
something happy
just refusing to leave
[chorus]
that parting embrace
the insanely confused palpitations
how I wish it was just a fight
and we can make up, just like that
I know that 'we' can't compare with 'you'
but the depth of my feelings for you
is something you will never realise
[chorus]
that parting embrace
the insanely confused palpitations
how I wish it was just a fight
and we can make up, just like that
I know that memories once sweet
only serve as handcuffs now
the harder you struggle
the more you cut and bruise yourself
I know that more than you now. |
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| 青花瓷 - My Take |
[Aug. 18th, 2011|02:33 pm] |
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素胚勾勒出青花 笔鋒浓转淡
As the pattern forms beneath the brush, the strokes grow delicate
瓶身描绘的牡丹 一如你初妆
The peony on the vase personifies your beauty
冉冉檀香透过窗 心事我了然
Inhaling the scent of sandalwood drifting in through the window, your woes are mine
宣纸上 走笔至此搁一半
And I pause, the painting half-done
釉色渲染仕女图 韵味被私藏
Your delightful charm lies hidden beneath the glazing of the portrait
而妳嫣然的一笑 如含苞待放
As does your smile, that radiated like the bud of summer
妳的美一缕飘散
And so it all dissipates, beneath the glazing
去到我去不了的地方
To a place I can never reach
[chorus]
天青色等烟雨 而我在等妳
The perfect hue of blue awaits the gentle rain, as I wait for you
炊烟袅袅升起 隔江千万里
From a thousand miles away, I watch the curlings of chimney smoke
在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸
The elegance of the Han Dynasty takes the form of calligraphy beneath the vase
就当我为遇见妳伏笔
Even as I foreshadowed laying eyes upon you
天青色等烟雨 而我在等妳
I wait patiently for you, as the perfect hue awaits the rain
月色被打捞起 晕开了结局
A shadow across the pale moonlight hints at our demise
如传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽
Just like the legendary porcelain of blue-white, revelling in its beauty
妳眼带笑意
You gaze back at me, laughter dancing in your eyes
色白花青的锦鲤 跃然于碗底
The painted blue carp seem to leap and pounce upon the white backdrop of the vase
临摹宋体落款时 却惦记著妳
Imitating the Song inscriptions, my thoughts drift to you
妳隐藏在窑烧裡千年的秘密
The eon of secrets you hid in the burning kiln
极细腻犹如绣花针落地
Bear the exquisiteness of a falling embroidery needle
帘外芭蕉惹骤雨 门环惹铜绿
The tree without brought the rain, the door handle awaits the rust
而我路过那江南小镇 惹了妳
And my passing brought you
在泼墨山水画裡
I captured you within this painting
你从墨色深处被隐去
And so you faded away into the canvas, into the ink, lost to me
[chorus] |
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| half-hearted attempt |
[Aug. 15th, 2011|12:56 pm] |
The curved moon
it resembles a wolf's fang
she lies here languishing
wreathed in crimson silk
To the swirling wind and snow
I raised my cup in mock salute
opened my own Pandora's box
and you came out
The countless paths of destiny
how many times is it now?
Sank your hook in a corner of my heart
and then flittered away |
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| Pointlessness |
[Aug. 11th, 2011|05:01 pm] |
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Putting you on a pedestal and worshipping you, and dissociating you away from reality. |
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| 開不了口 |
[Aug. 11th, 2011|04:55 pm] |
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left not too long ago
already the weariness is setting in
today's you - are you well
entire picture is of you
can't sleep for picturing you
that particular expression of you
that scent of you
my elation - your fleeting smile
without you - how hard it is, do you know
without your troubles, I'm troubled
bursting through the empty sky
I'm trying so hard to reach out
reaching out
to find you with someone else
just couldn't say those words
I'll make you safe, I'll make you smile
your significance to me
regretting not letting you know
listening to your pouts
watching your sleeping face
but I just couldn't say those words
just those few lines, I couldn't do it
my entire self dangling in midair
and all I can do is watch
it's all I can do now
and that person is no longer
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| Behind the scenes |
[Jul. 24th, 2011|11:42 pm] |
There was an angel. There were neither wings, nor the presence of a halo, which would have been dead giveaways. But there was an angel, nevertheless. You just know it. And she stretched her arms wide, not looking much older than a schoolgirl, really, and a rectangular portal opened up, and there came a flash of blindingly white light, and... a creation.
Prologue
??? (grammar need not be observed)
I
a lesson. a lecture. sitting near the front. a lecture on? I like greek stuff. Anklyopolikos. Air-con is so cold (this is both real and fiction) traaaaggeeedddyyyyyy. Our protagonist is the silent type, but a lot of random musings in his head. First-person pov? Okay. Listens to songs from the 90s. Having a feel of going nowhere. Feeling so empty beneath the cold skies, the unfeeling stars. Having trouble sleeping.
Wait, I'm going off on too many tangents.
Lecture. Present day. A petite girl walks in. She says, "sorry, I'm late." Wait, then it's a class? If it's a lecture, she doesn't say anything. I have a jacket on. No.. I'm sitting behind. So she sits behind too, cos that's where the empty seats are. Her name is/will be Clarissa/Caroline (Clare? Carol?), cos I like that name. Wait, Petra? But you hardly get that name here, but why does that matter?
I am too easily distracted. How will I ever succeed? Aha. A protagonist who lacks ambition. Not through lack of talent but because thoughts are too often wandering. Knows his own weaknesses. (Not doing a biography here, kthnx.)
The lecture is on economics. Hahah.
How do I describe her? My obsidian princess. Eyes like obsidian. Too many complexities. Too cold to the touch (?) No... wrong. Or.. wait, can. First encounters. How? Cold in the I-will-tear-you-to-shreds-with-my-intellect sense. The real petra.
Random Muses
Sitting on a bullet train, going somewhere. Watching the scenery flash by.
Oh I thought the world of you.. but I was wrong...
strummings of a guitar.
the sky so blue it almost hurts to look at it.
vibration of a phone by the bedside, waiting for a text that never comes.
A field coloured almost golden, soaking in the summer sun, a path winding through it under the blue blue sky
dream that came from you (so fucking ripping off everything Cranberries) cause you're a dream to me. I wake up in an apartment next to you.
what would have happened if there was a third party in romeo and juliet?
so dangerous to put your memories in something that might fade with the wind. |
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| you know I'm such a fool for you |
[Jul. 24th, 2011|11:36 pm] |
but it's just your attitude
it's tearing me apart
it's ruining everything
things wouldn't be so confused
and I wouldn't feel so used
but you always really knew
I just wanna be with you |
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| Linger |
[Jul. 24th, 2011|11:32 pm] |
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| clear skies |
[Jul. 11th, 2011|03:49 pm] |
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The tiny pale-yellow flower of the story
swayed in the wind from the day it was born
that swing of childhood
swinging to and fro in the cascade of memories
staring at the sky, the surrounding melody
watched a petal try to fall
that day when I skipped a class for you
that day the petal fell
emptiness of the classroom
why can't I see it?
disappearing feel of the rain on us
I want to feel it again
courage I never knew I had
wanna wanna ask again
will you wait
or are you going
that day the wind was blowing
I tried to hold your hand
but in the falling rain
you faded from sight
how much longer before
you're next to me again
waiting for the skies to clear
maybe I'll be better then
a long time ago there was
someone who cared dearly for you
but the wind blew
and the distance grew
waiting for the day
when I can be with you again
but funnily enough, at the end
you still whispered, goodbye.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2011|12:10 pm] |
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Suddenly I find myself caring way too much for you. Why? I never did pay much attention to you in the past, if at all. Suddenly I just want to be close to you. I'm lying to you, but I'd never lie in a way that would hurt you. I just want to be close to you, and I want to be there for you, even though you would never view me as anything more than a friend, and it hurts, and I should tear myself away and stop texting you because I will never be the one for you, because I am simply unsuited for you, and you for me, and I'm only hurting myself more, and hurting myself by continuing this pretense, but... I can't. I just want to be close to you, and if you ever need me, I want to be there for you. Even though you will never see it that way. |
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